Monday Night Raw Results
November 2nd, 2009
Guest Hosts: Ozzy & Sharon Osbourne
Report by: Richard Trionfo of PWInsider.com
We are live on tape from Worcester, Massachusetts and your announcers are Michael ‘Closed Captioned for the Ozzy Impaired’ Cole and Jerry ‘I remember when Ozzy first performed Iron Man, well before the Road Warriors used it’ Lawler.
We begin with the guest hosts Ozzy Osbourne
and Sharon Osbourne in the ring and Ozzy has a throne. Ozzy welcomes everyone to Raw. Sharon says that it is not the first time Ozzy has been in a WWE ring. We see footage from Ozzy’s previous appearances including Wrestlemania 2 (with Captain Lou Albano) and from a 2007 episode of Smackdown. Ozzy says that he does not remember those times.
The Osbournes are interrupted by The Miz. Miz asks Sharon if it is going to be a crazy night and Sharon ‘reallys’ back. Miz says that he intends on having a good time tonight because he is a bigger star than the entire Osbourne family. Miz tells Ozzy to pay close attention to what he has to say. Miz says that he was robbed in his match with Evan Bourne because of outside interference. Miz wants Ozzy to wipe that result out of the record books. Ozzy wants to know who the Miz is and Sharon adds a really. Miz advises Ozzy who he is . . .
But Miz is interrupted by Ted DiBiase and Cody Rhodes. Cody asks Miz how petty is appears to complain about a loss by a count out. Cody and Ted talk about the special gift that they bought for Orton. Ted says that he paid for most of it and it was a one of a kind NASCAR vehicle that was destroyed by Kofi Kingston. They want a handicap match against Kofi tonight. Miz says that they are going to deal with him first and Sharon gives us a really.
Big Show comes to the ring and he tells Ozzy and Sharon not to listen to the whiners and complainers. Show reminds us that he was attacked by the entire Raw roster and he demands an apology. Ozzy apologizes and Show says that he wants the entire Raw roster to apologize to him or they are going to get a punch.
Not to be outdone, Degeneration X come out to the ring. They shake Ozzy and Sharon’s hands and they apologize for the interruption. Hunter says that before the four ratings killers destroy segment one, he wanted to make the save. Hunter says that Ozzy has a lot in common with Degeneration X because Ozzy has a book coming out. Miz says that it is not time for a shameless plug. Hunter says that they are going to take care of things Blizzard of Oz style. Everyone gets what they want. Ozzy, through Hunter, makes Miz wrestle Evan Bourne tonight for the U.S. Title. Sharon, through Shawn, gives Kofi Kingston a match against Randy Orton. Hunter tells Show that they didn’t forget about him. Show says that maybe he doesn’t want an apology, he wants a preview of the Survivor Series. Why not have Shawn Michaels, Triple H, and John Cena wrestle in a Triple Threat Match. Ozzy, through Show and Hunter, makes a Triple Threat Match of John Cena versus Chris Jericho versus Big Show.
We go to commercial.
We are back with the WWE Rewind: Jack Swagger trying to sweet talk Eve during Miz’s match with Evan Bourne last week.
Match Number One: The Miz versus Evan Bourne for the United States Title
Miz with a kick to Bourne and a knee lift. Miz with a kick to the head and he chokes Bourne in the ropes. Bourne with a kick to the leg but Miz kicks Bourne and chokes him again. Bourne blocks a hip toss and so does Miz. Bourne with a rana and leg lariat. Miz goes to the floor and Bourne with a slingshot double knees to the head. Bourne gets a near fall and then another near fall with a rollup. Bourne with a kick to the leg. Miz with a knee to the midsection. Miz drops Bourne on the top rope and then he kicks Bourne before going to a seated abdominal stretch. Bourne with a lateral press for a near fall. Bourne with a kick but Miz with a forearm and punch. Miz tries for a suplex but Bourne with a knee to the head. Bourne with another rollup for a near fall. Bourne with a kick that sends Miz into the turnbuckles. Miz avoids a charge into the corner but Bourne with a kick for a near fall. Miz with a jawbreaker and then Miz sets for his clothesline into the corner but Bourne with a boot. Bourne tries for the Shooting Star Press but Miz moves. Bourne lands on his feet. Miz with a hip toss into the turnbuckles and then he hits the Skull Crushing Finale for the three count.
Winner: The Miz
We go to commercial.
Josh Mathews is in the interview area and he is with Sheamus. Josh asks Sheamus about what he is going to do to impress the guest hosts. Sheamus says that Ozzy’s career should have been over years ago. After the match tonight, Jamie Noble’s career will be over.
Match Number Two: Sheamus versus Jamie Noble
Sheamus with a forearm to Noble and then he connects with a hard Irish whip and knees to the head. Noble falls to the floor and Sheamus goes after him. Noble is sent into the ring post. Sheamus with a forearm to the back of the head and then he kicks Noble a few more times. Sheamus with an elbow to the top of the head and then he connects with knees while Sheamus holds Noble up. Sheamus with a uranage back breaker followed by the bicycle kick but Sheamus pulls Noble up at two. Sheamus with forearms in the corner and he is admonished by the referee. Noble is slumped in the corner and the referee stops the match.
Winner: Sheamus
After the match, Sheamus with more forearms as he puts Noble on the top turnbuckle. Sheamus with a boot to the chest and Noble goes to the floor. Sheamus helps Noble up but then he sends Noble back to the floor with a vicious power bomb. The medical staff checks on Noble and a stretcher is brought to the ringside area. Noble has a neck brace put on and he is strapped to a back board before he is stretchered out.
We go to commercial.
We are back and did you know that a lot of people watched Raw last week.
Cole and Lawler talk about the condition of Jamie Noble for a second and then we see footage of Randy Orton’s viper like attack on Kofi Kingston after Kofi’s victory last week. Then we see the man from Ghana destroy Randy’s gift from Ted and Cody.
Kofi is walking in the back and he is stopped by Josh Mathews and he wants to know if Kofi has any regrets. Kofi says that not only did Randy lose his title, he lost any chance to get it back. He calls Randy a classic bully for what he did. Kofi says that he is not going to be the victim of a bully. Kofi says that he left the mirror for Randy to look at.
We go to commercial.
Match Number Three: Randy Orton versus Kofi Kingston
Orton circles Kofi as the bell rings in an attempt to get Kofi dizzy. Orton with a slap and Kofi responds. Orton with a forearm and then he sends Kofi into the turnbuckle and he punches Kofi and kicks him. The referee pulls Orton away. Orton returns to the attack and he punches Kofi. Orton misses a punch and Kofi with a drop kick and clothesline that sends Orton over the top rope to the floor. Kofi brings Orton back into the ring.
DiBiase and Rhodes come to the ring and Kofi sees it. Kofi sends Orton onto Rhodes and DiBiase. Kofi with a suicide dive and then Legacy surrounds Kofi.
Ozzy and Sharon show up on the TitanTron and they make it a six man tag match. Ozzy and Sharon don’t tell us who Kofi’s partners are but we hear the music and it will be Mark Henry and Montel Vontavious Porter.
We go to commercial.
Match Number Three (Part 2): Legacy versus Mark Henry, Kofi Kingston, and Montel Vontavious Porter
The match is joined in progress and Ted has Kofi in a chin lock but Kofi with an arm drag. Kofi takes care of interference by Cody and Randy. Kofi with a side Russian leg sweep and he tags in Porter and they hit a Boom Boom Leg Drop and Ballin Elbow at the same time. Henry tags in and he gives Ted a head butt. Ted goes for the knee and he tags in Cody but Henry with a double clothesline. Henry with an Irish whip to Cody and Porter is tagged in but he charges into a boot from Cody. Cody with an elbow to the back of the head. Porter blocks at suplex attempt. Ted tags in and he stops a suplex attempt by Porter. Ted with a side Russian leg sweep for a near fall. Orton tags in and he punches Porter. DiBiase and Rhodes attack Porter while Orton is with the referee. DiBiase tags in and Orton is not done with punches and kicks. DiBiase with an elbow drop and a kick for a near fall. Rhodes tags in and he connects with a knee drop. Rhodes with a chin lock on Porter. Rhodes with a drop kick to Porter and he gets a near fall. Orton tags back in and Rhodes keeps Porter from making the tag. Orton with a drop kick of his own for a near fall. Porter fights out of the corner but Orton with a punch and drop toe hold. Orton misses the leaping knee drop when Porter moves out of the way. Orton does not miss the second time. Orton gets a near fall and then he connects with forearms across the chest before going to the reverse chin lock. Porter with elbows but Orton with a kick. Orton with a kick but Porter with a clothesline. Orton knocks Kofi off the apron to stop a tag. DiBiase tags in and Porter with an overhead belly-to-belly throw. Henry and Rhodes tag in and Henry connects with clotheslines and a head butt to Rhodes. Henry with a charge into the corner and he connects. Orton kicks Henry on a slam attempt. Kofi with a drop kick when Orton tries for an RKO on Henry. Rhodes comes off the turnbuckles and he is caught by Henry who hits the World’s Strongest Slam for the three count.
Winners: Kofi Kingston, Mark Henry, and Montel Vontavious Porter
After the match, Orton and Kofi stare each other down.
We go to commercial.
We are back and it is time for ‘Raw’s Got Talent’ and Jerry Lawler is your host. He says that we are in store for something. Sharon and Ozzy are the judges tonight. Three Raw superstars will show their talent. The third judge for this segment is the Great Khali with Runjin Singh.
The first contestant is Santino Marella to sing Bark at the Moon. Santino says that he will do something instead of singing Bark at the Moon. He says people in Italy love Ozzie and Harriet. Santino bites the head off a Batman action figure.
The second contestant is Chris Masters doing a performance art piece to Crazy Train. Maters flexes his pecs.
The third set of contestants are Chavo Guerrero and Jillian Hall. Apparently Ozzy was not a fan of their performance and they say that everyone is jealous. Sharon wants Jillian to come to the ring. Jillian sings Britney Spears for Sharon and Sharon slaps Jillian. Chavo gets in Sharon’s face and Khali chops Chavo despites Chavo’s attempts to beg his case. Chavo goes down and Hornswoggle makes his weekly appearance hitting a frog splash on Chavo.
Kelly walks in the back and she is joined by the Bellas. Eve and Gail Kim walk behind them as we are going to have a Divas Battle Royal.
We go to commercial.
We are back and Ricky Hatton will be the guest host next week from England.
Match Number Four: Raw Diva Battle Royal: Gail Kim, Kelly Kelly, Nikki Bella, Brie Bella, Alicia Fox, and Eve Torres
Kelly goes after Alicia while Eve fights with one of the Bellas and Gail deals with the other one. Gail and Eve have their ways with the Bellas. Alicia tries to hold on to Kelly to stay in the ring. Gail with a kick and a Japanese neck breaker. We see Melina watching in the back. Eve with a forearm to Kelly’s back. Kelly eliminates Gail while trying to eliminate a Bella. Kelly looks sorry for what she did.
Jack Swagger comes to the ring as Eve connects with a clothesline and elbow to Alicia. Eve with a drop kick to each Bella and they are both eliminated. Alicia attacks Eve from behind and then Alicia eliminates Eve. Kelly tries to eliminate Alicia but Alicia holds on to the ropes. Kelly with forearms and Alicia goes into the corner. Kelly with the handspring back elbow but Alicia sends Kelly over the top rope to eliminate her.
Winner: Alicia Fox
It is time for an update on Jamie Noble’s medical condition and we see highlights of the destruction of Noble.
We go to commercial.
We are back and did you know that WWE won an award for its Smackdown the Vote campaign.
Cole and Lawler talk about the problems between the longest running friendship in Smackdown history between Rey Mysterio and Batista.
Ozzy and Sharon are in their office and Chris Jericho enters. Jericho says that they are making a mockery of Raw like all of the guest hosts because they have not consulted with him. Jericho says that he has all of the talent because he is the most talented. He says that he was a fan of Ozzy’s when he grew up and went to his concerts. Chris says that he wanted to be just like Ozzy. He dressed like Ozzy and pandered to his fans. Then he realized that he did not need them and he says that he is better than Ozzy.
DX are in the back and they are talking to Hornswoggle. They want two weeks where he does not interfere with their intellectual property. Shawn says that if Hornswoggle imitates DX again, he will be in big trouble. John lets Hornswoggle down and says that you don’t put a leprechaun on a hook. Cena mentions the Triple Threat Match and Hunter says that he isn’t sweating that too much because he beat Cena two weeks ago. Shawn reminds Cena that they are in England next week and Shawn reminds Cena about their match in England. Cena talks about how they beat each other all the time and the Bellas are standing behind them and they are grossed out and leave.
Shawn says that DX has a mathematical chance of leaving the pay per view with the titles. Cena says that tonight’s Triple Threat will be just like the Survivor Series match. We go to commercial.
We are back with the Slam of the Week: Everyone on Raw attacking Big Show.
Degeneration X are at the announce table to join Cole and Lawler.
Match Number Five: John Cena versus Big Show versus Chris Jericho
The match is joined in progress and John Cena sends Show into the ring post. Cena with an Irish whip and fisherman suplex for a near fall. Cena gets tripped by Show and pulled to the floor. Show kicks Cena and sends him into the ringside barrier. Jericho covers Cena and Show pushes him off. Show and Jericho argue but then they get back on the same page. Jericho with a kick and Show with a punch. Jericho slaps Cena in the head and Show with a suplex to Cena. Jericho with a kick to the head. Cena punches Show but Jericho attacks Cena. Cena tries for the shoulder tackle but he bounces off Show. Jericho holds Cena and Show with a chop. Jericho with an elbow and Show with a forearm to Cena. Jericho with a belly-to-back suplex to Cena. Jericho punches Cena in the corner and then they give Cena a hard Irish whip. Jericho is Irish whipped into Cena in the corner. Now it is Show’s time but he misses a butt splash into the corner. Cena with a hip toss and a bulldog. Show with a spear to Cena and Jericho with a Lionsault but Show breaks up the cover. Show and Jericho argue and Jericho pushes Show and slaps him in the face. Jericho realizes he made a mistake and he sends Jericho over the top rope. Cena avoids a choke slam and he tries to get Show up for Attitude Adjustment but he collapses under Show. Show goes for the elbow from the turnbuckles but Cena moves out of the way.
Cena with a boot to a charging Show. Cena with a shoulder tackle that sends Show to the floor. Cena with the two shoulder tackles followed by the Blue Thunder Bomb and it is time for the moves of doom to be finished by the five knuckle shuffle. Cena gets Jericho up for Attitude Adjustment but Show punches Cena and Jericho gets the three count.
Winner: Chris Jericho
After the match, Show and Jericho shake hands. Jericho puts Cena in the Walls of Jericho and Show has Cena in a chin lock. Shawn and Hunter go into the ring and Show punches Michaels. Jericho gives Hunter a Codebreaker. Jericho and Show celebrate as we go to credits.
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